Learn more about ENM terms with the list below
Relationship Structures
Polyamory
A relationship structure where individuals seek multiple established relationships with different people. There are many ways to conduct polyamorous relationships, but they tend to be based on the notion that one person cannot meet all of our needs, and that we as human beings are capable of loving more than one person at a time.
Open-Relationship
Often a misused term, 'open-relationship' describes a relationship structure where people will date or have sexual experiences with more than one person. These experiences with others don't necessarily include long-term relationships (this would be polyamory), instead embrace casual connections such as casual sexual partners.
Triad/Throuple
As you may have guessed, a triad or throuple describes a relationship structure involving three people. This relationship dynamic tends to include the desire for a long-term relationship, but can have it's own unique set of challenges inclusive of communication difficulties, living arrangements and child rearing.
Quad
This is a relationship structure that includes four people. It may be that two polyamorous couples have started dating each other, or four individuals have formed a dating dynamic. Each person may be dating all 3 counterparts, or it could be that both members of a couple are dating one member of the other couple. Quads tend to form family-like structures, which can be vastly beneficial to it's participants whilst also offering unique difficulties.
Swingers
A couple who engage in sexual experiences with other couples; this could be through casual connections, or through an organised party. Swingers can have once-off experiences with others, or develop longer-term connections with other, sometimes leading to throuples, quads or polyamory.
Relationship Anarchy
A relationship structure where individuals do not participate in social labelling or hierarchy. Anarchists generally create each relationship specific to that connection; they don't limit their connections according one style of relationship structure. For example, they may have a kink play partner they see once a month, a long-term partner they see twice a week, and multiple casual connections. This relationship structure is often misrepresented by individuals who abuse this dynamic; opting to use it as way of avoiding responsibility to others as opposed to building unique, respectful and fulfilling connections.
Monoamory
This is a monogamous relationship structure where the ultimate goal of the relationship doesn't include marriage. Many monogamous people feel social pressures to escalate a relationship towards marriage, but for many people this may not suit their needs or belief systems, or those of their partner's.
Monogamish
A monogamous relationship structure that includes some opportunities for occasional experiences with other people. These experiences tend to include (but are not limited to) sexual partners in relation to kink, fetishes, BDSM, group sex etc.
Other Essential ENM Terms
Hinge
A person who has two partners. Just like a hinge connects a door to a wall, a hinge in ENM is the person between two partners.
Metamour
Your partner's partner. If Bob is dating Bill and Jane, then Bill and Jane are metamours. This also makes Bob the 'hinge' between his two partners. Some metamours may choose to meet and develop a friendship, others may choose to not meet each other at all.
Monocorn
A monogamous person who is comfortable being in a relationship with a non-monogamous person. This can be tricky due to the differences in value systems between ENM and monogamy, but successful, practicing monocorns tend to have great communication skills and self-reflective practices.
Unicorn
The term for an individual (generally a bisexual cis woman) who agrees to a relationship or sexual experience with an existing couple (generally heterosexual man/female).
Nesting Partner
In polyamory when an individual has a partner they choose to live with, this is their 'nesting partner'. Nesting partners may share finances, children and other responsibilities and life goals.
Hierarchy
In relation to ethical non-monogamy, 'hierarchy' is a term used to describe the level of commitment, time, responsibility or importance of each relationship in an individual's life. Let's look at an example; Frank is polyamorous and lives with his nesting partner, Angelo and their 3 children. Frank and Angelo share domestic duties, child rearing responsibilities and financial commitments. This relationship is likely going to be at the top of the hierarchy for Frank because it takes up a significant amount of his time and energy. Frank's additional partner, Anna, is lower on the hierarchy because they do not share all the daily responsibilities. This may mean that Angelo is higher up in Frank's priorities than Anna.
Compersion
Compersion is a term used to describe the positive feelings an individual has for the happiness of their partners. To extend our example above, Angelo may feel compersion seeing Frank smile when he gets a lovely message from Anna.
If you would like some support navigating ethical non-monogamy, or any other topic, please feel free to contact Bronwyn for a no-obligation 15 minute consult at bronwyn@floraisonmentalhealth.com.au
Or book an appointment today at https://square.site/book/K4SCSAPZ1VYCR/floraison-mental-health