The Golden Girls; season 5, episodes 1 & 2
I recently stumbled upon two episodes of The Golden Girls where Dorothy is feeling unwell and seeks medical help. She soon finds that although suffering from terrible fatigue, brain fog, heart palpitations, aching muscles, sore throat and swollen glands the doctors cannot find anything wrong with her.
Dorothy is then told by a doctor that her symptoms are due to age, and that a new hair colour would help lift her mood. One doctor actually suggests that Dorothy is lonely due to divorce, and suggests that dating men will solve her symptoms.
Filmed in 1989, these episodes of The Golden Girls beautifully depict medical gaslighting; where medical professionals cannot find anything ‘wrong’ with a patient and suggest that it is somehow the patient’ fault; that they are simply ageing, are not socializing enough, that they need to be more positive, or need to stress less. Although some 30-something years old, these episodes are still very much relevant to the experiences of individuals today. Maybe you have been unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of something similar.
Who will believe you?
Although the majority of the people close to Dorothy believe her in regards to her symptoms, she still encounters one close friend who believes there is nothing wrong with her. With no diagnosis and feeling unheard by the doctors, a frustrated Dorothy begins to feel helpless, doubt herself, and as if she might be going crazy. This is a common experience for individuals living with invisible illness, chronic illness and chronic pain. As the illness cannot be seen by others, it can be difficult for others to empathize and understand just how difficult life for their friend/family member is. However, this often leaves the person living with invisible/chronic illness feeling uncared for, isolated and rejected.
Societal expectations; productivity
Parallel to Dorothy’s mystery illness, her friend and housemate, Blanche, dedicates herself to writing a book. During this time Blanche becomes exhausted and others offer her their sympathies; highlighting society’s belief that exhaustion and fatigue is acceptable only after doing something that is seen as productive.
Individual productivity is a topic many individuals living with invisible or chronic illness will encounter. In a capitalist society individuals are expected to work full time, or if they are at home the expectation is that they will complete all the household chores each day. Individuals living with invisible or chronic illness often find themselves unable to work, and unable to complete household chores at the same pace as other people. They often feel as though society looks down on them for not being able to participate in these societal expectations. Some may even have family members, friends, colleagues, neighbours or complete strangers express their displeasure, fostering an atmosphere of shame and guilt.
Diagnosis, finally... and only if you’re lucky.
Dorothy is diagnosed within what seems to be a relatively short period of time with chronic fatigue syndrome, also known as myalgic encephalomyelitis or ME/CFS. Although Dorothy’s road to diagnosis was relatively brief (no doubt due to storyline efficiency), in reality it is extremely common for individuals living with invisible illness to spend years attempting to reach a diagnosis. Imagine, if you can, spending years in that space of medical gaslighting.
These episodes of The Golden Girls are a well depicted example of why so many people living with invisible or chronic illnesses have complex emotions and thoughts attached to medical professionals, or even medical trauma based purely on the gaslighting by doctors. As if living with an invisible illness isn't difficult enough, individuals also have to navigate ageism, sexism, gaslighting, intolerance, prejudice, ableism and societal expectations. Although Dorothy is a character on a television show, in these episodes we can see an example that represents so many people who to this day are having similar experiences with medical professionals, family and friends.
If you would like some support navigating chronic illness or the impact of medical gaslighting please feel free to contact Bronwyn for a no-obligation 15 minute consult at bronwyn@floraisonmentalhealth.com.au
Or book an appointment today at https://square.site/book/K4SCSAPZ1VYCR/floraison-mental-health