In recent years online dating has shed the stigma once attached, and become the most common way for singles to meet each other [1]. With around 4.5 million Australians participating in online dating each year [2] there’s no doubt online dating has become an accessible and accepted method for dating. There are a huge number of dating sites to choose from; some require you to enter your interests and dislikes in order to match you up with potential partners, some simply require both parties to ‘like’ each other’s profile in order to connect, and others allow immediate messaging between members. Whichever app or website you choose there are a few things to know about the modern world of dating first.
ONLINE DATING AS A NATURAL SOCIAL PROGRESSION
Research into the field of online dating remains relatively skint. There is ample research into the nature and impact of online communication, but little on online dating specifically. What we do know, is that online dating is an extension of historical dating processes. From the “dance craze” in the 1910’s, to the trend of taking dates to the “pictures” or movies in the 1920’s and 1930’s [3], modern dating is a reflection of the resources available to society at large. With increased technological advances came increased access to the world wide web, and with it the opportunity to communicate with a broader range of individuals. So with seemingly endless opportunities to connect with people we wouldn’t normally get the opportunity to engage with, online dating was an obvious progression.
Increased engagement with a wider range of individuals brings with it some unique challenges not necessarily faced in previous dating trends. These days online dating websites and apps give you the opportunity to meet people outside of your immediate social and socioeconomic range, with diverse backgrounds, cultures, jobs, education levels, lived experience, hobbies, life philosophies and lifestyles. We are no longer limited to introductions through family and friends, or even work, but can extend to all corners of society.
This extension of social interaction means you will meet a huge range of individuals online. Some will share your ethics, opinions and knowledge, but others will differ greatly. Mentally preparing yourself for this diversity before dipping your toe in the modern world of dating will allow you to engage with an open mind and resilience towards any negative experiences that may arise.
BRING YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR
This leads me to what I believe to be one of the most important factors in participating in online dating: a sense of humour. People will say and do strange things online with varying levels of boundaries. Some people will cross over our boundaries, and whilst tempted to get upset or angry, it can be helpful to recognise the unusualness of getting to know other human beings through a computer or phone screen from the comfort of your home. How strange we humans are to attempt to date through photographs and words on a screen. And how strange we humans are, full stop. If you can see the light in strange situations, you will be better equipped to deal with offensive opinions, rude interactions and negative experiences.
Online dating can be exciting and fun. It is incredible what you can learn about yourself simply by interacting with a wider range of individuals. Many couples have met their long-term partner through online dating; in America it is estimated that over one third of married couples met online [4]. And regardless of whether you are looking for a long-term relationship, or something more casual, online dating certainly opens up the possibilities.
References
1.Paska, I 2020, ‘Fast choices and emancipatory spaces’, In Medias Res, vol. 9, no.16, pp. 2545-2557.
2. Relationships Australia 2017, ‘November 2017: Online dating’, Relationships Australia, https://www.relationships.org.au/what-we-do/research/online-survey/november-2017-online-dating
3.Stoicescu, M 2019, ‘The globalized online dating culture: reframing the dating process through online dating’, Journal of Comparative Research in Anthropology and Sociology, vol. 10, no. 1, pp. 21-32.
4.Sharabi, LL & Caughlin, JP 2017, ‘What predicts first date success? A longitudinal study of modality switching in online dating’, Personal Relationships, vol. 24, no. 2, pp. 370-391.
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